I was a pretty healthy eater all weekend until Sunday night when the madness of the Brooklyn kickball league got to me and I gorged on cookies. I was very disappointed in myself, but got back on the wagon Monday morning. I'm finding more and more that I really enjoy eating healthy food and it is becoming what I crave. For example, I can't even imagine wanting some toasted white bread when I know I could have some delicious fresh multi-grain toast at home. But I still have problems with overeating, especially when it comes to snacky foods. My cookies were peanutbutter oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. It was vegan and even made with whole wheat flour, but it was still fatty and sugary and I ate more than I needed. Similar experience last night. I made baked corn chips from corn tortillas and had some leftover refried beans, homemade salsa and tofu sour cream sauce, so I ended up snacking on those mindlessly. While I was doing it I already felt guilty about it. I think the weekend cookies just weakened my theoretical eating resistance muscle and built up my theoretical giving-in muscle. I also haven't been blogging as much as I wish I would. But actually saying these things out here, putting my realizations abut my eating habits in writing, helps a lot. I need to stick with it and I will. I know I'll be proud of myself if I do and in the end I will feel it's worth it.

My biggest goal for today is to write out the response cards I've been putting off. I can probably even do this during little breaks at work. I've been better about reading my advantages response card regularly and I'm remembering it really does help. More cards, more help, I figure.

I'm trying to incorporate more cardio and more pilates. So far so good, but not at the level I want to be. As long as I can increase and improve every week until I'm where I want to be, I will be happy with that. I just need to make sure I don't slack and disappoint myself.

I also don't want to go over everything I've eaten since I last posted. So instead I will start posting food logs daily to avoid this. It doesn't take that long and I'm always glad I did.

Food log:

Dinner yesterday: toasted corn tortilla topped with refried beans, green chiles, jalapenos, melted vegan monterey jack, salsa, lettuce, red onions, Kate's special soy sour cream sauce and 1/4 avocado. This dinner was delicious. I made some chocolate peanutbutter oatmeal cookies and ate too many of them, but not too too many, only two when I should have had one. At least I didn't have ten. I snacked on too many corn chips I made, but they were as healthy as corn chip snacking can get.

Breakfast: tofu scramble with veggie chicken ham (weird Asian vegetarian store product) and red and green peppers with a side of toasted fresh multigrain bread and tea.

Lunch: whole wheat gnocchi with tomatoes, corn, black beans, salsa verde and pepper. Weird but surprisingly okay tasting (I had the first half of this concoction yesterday). On the side baked lightly breaded okra with a fat-free vegan tartar sauce.

Snack: salad of boston lettuce, raddichio, corn, apples, red onion and toasted walnuts and sunflower seeds. I couldn't find a single-serving dressing tupperware container so I just decided to eat it without dressing and I'm totally okay with that.