I feel back in swing with the BDS book and I'm definitely getting back on track with the things I initially accomplished then let slide. For example, I didn't snack while eating dinner last night. I enjoyed my dinner much more because of this. I've also been trying to get better about eating my lunch later in the afternoon so I'm really hungry for it and appreciate it more. My one downfall is baking. I love baking, but I can't keep eating the baked goods I make if I still want to lose a bit more weight. My big goal here is to learn to bake delicious and healthy treats and eat small amounts of them.

I've been sick the past few days so I haven't been able to exercise. I'm going to give myself this entire weekend to recoup then I want to get back to where I was with exercise before I got sick, meaning pilates 3 times a week, spinning 3 times a week, and as much sponataneous or less-intense exercise as I can squeeze in with my limited free time and while also giving myself a solid day off from exercising. I've noticed I don't sleep as well when I'm not exercising regularly. I'm looking forward to exercising again so I can get back to sleeping better.


Food log:

Dinner last night: soooo good. Roasted poblano peppers filled with taco seasoned red bean mush with some FYH soy chedder, brown rice pilaf, avocado, cilantro tofu cream (from this website: http://www.veganchef.com/) and steamed broccoli. This was a totally thrown together last minute dinner and it was so delicious. Nick bought the poblano peppers with not much of an idea of what to do with them, and we just threw the beans I made in them, and it was better than any chili rellenos I've ever had.
Dessert: peanut butter molasses oatmeal cookies with chocolate chips and vegan m&m things, a very liberal variation of the peanut butter oatmeal cookies from Vegan with a Vengeance. I had no brown sugar so I used molasses. I subbed whole wheat flour for regular and added some extra oat bran and wheat germ for extra healthiness to make up for the fact that these are so not healthy. I ate 1 1/2 (they were huge, I could have just had 1 and been satisfied) with a little bit of soy milk.
Breakfast: 2 mini crustless tofu quiches, 2 strawberry jalapeno corn muffins and a cup of tea.

Snack: one slice of leftover pizza from the other day and a cookie.

Lunch: leftover rice and beans with cilantro tofu cream and steamed broccoli with one cookie for dessert.

Dinner: no plans yet, but hopefully something light like a big salad.

And finally, Brisco looking cute sitting high atop my roommate's matress turned on it's side against the wall.

New planner

I bought a new planner and reread days 14-18 on the train this morning. I feel good about going back over these days and reminding myself of the stuff I read. During work I'm going to write out some response cards and schedule some exercise for next week.

For my uncle's birthday I got him a copy of the Beck Diet Solution. I'm excited to get someone from my dad's side of the family on it since thus far it's all people on my mom's side with the Beck last name. I also think it will just make him a happier and healthier person if he really takes the book to heart.

Food log:

Dinner last night: (pictured below) pizza with homemade pizza sauce, artichoke hearts, yellow and orange peppers, baby spinach, lemon-oregano tofu feta (mediocre, bought it because it was on sale) and veggie parm on a pre-made multi-grain pizza crust.
On the side there was some chopped up romaine, baby spinach and celery with caesar dressing.
For dessert I had two Back to Nature chocolate sandwich cremes and they are my new favorite cookie.

Breakfast today: mini crustless tofu quiches from this recipe: http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/2006/12/mini-crustless-tofu-quiches.html with orange and yellow peppers and sundried tomatoes. These are really easy and really good.And also for breakfast, I made strawberry jalapeno mini corn muffins based on the corn muffin recipe in Vegan with a Vengeance, subbing whole wheat pastry flour and splenda.

Lunch: leftover pizza and sauteed zucchini with Braggs and red wine vinegar and two chocolate sandwich cookies for dessert.

Snack: tamari almonds.

Dinner: not set in stone yet, but I'm thinking some classic rice and beans would be good.

I still don't have my planner that had all my BDS stuff in it. Tonight I will go get a new planner and re-write cards. Over the next few days I want to go over the day I've done already since I had so much time with no focus on BDS. Then after that I think I'll be back on track. I just need to make sure I do what I say I'm going to. If I had my planner I could write this down and make sure I do it!

Food pics:

Red bean balls with mac and "cheese" and sauteed zucchini.

Dipping sauces for the red bean balls, tamarind bbq, salsa-mayo sauce and spicy peanut sauce.
Peanut butter and chocolate mousse.

Mini carrot cupcakes.
Miso breaded tofu with mashed potatoes and gravy, kale and beets, and steamed asparagus.

Mini zucchini breads. This recipe need some tweaking.

Bagel with mashed up avocado and salsa and black berries. Very simple and very good.

Hazelnut cupcakes, topped with nuts are filled with mocha mousse and topped with raspberries are filled with raspberry preserves.

Food log:


Dinner last night: (pictured below) garlic bread and a caesar salad with homemade vegan caesar dressing and everything but the kitchen sink thrown in. Leftover pb and choco mousse for dessert.

Breakfast today: oat bran cereal with wheat germ and ground flax thrown in and flavored with molasses and some green juice on the side.

Lunch today: salad with r0maine, baby spinach, tomatoes, cukes, sauteed portobello and tempeh topped with caesar dressing and an odwalla bar.

No plans for dinner yet.

And finally, Brisco loving on "How it all Vegan!" cook book.

I haven't been posting because I haven't uploaded any food pictures and a blog is just so much more exciting with food pictures. But I will list now and then picture later.

Food log:

I forgot what I ate during the day on Wednesday!

Wednesday dinner: I went out of control! I was feeling mildly sick and tired and stressed out, so I decided to treat myself to some take out and watch a movie. I went to a Thai place near my house and got crispy vegetarian duck with tamarind sauce and veggies, tom kha coconut soup and crispy spring rolls. It was enough food for two and I ate most of it. I eventually just threw away the few scraps left so I wouldn't eat anymore. Then I had a homemade ice cream sandwich and a bunch of Newmans-Os. At this point I felt sick and was able to stop. I don't know what happened or even what I was thinking. It was very mindless. But the movie I watched was really good! Delicatessen, a french film, that I highly recommend.

Thursday breakfast: my new favorite breakfast is plain soy yogurt with toasted wheat germ and molasses. I had two organic kiwis on the side.

Snack: tamari almonds.

Lunch: tempeh bacon BLT with jalapeno mayo on a sprouted grain tortilla with chopped tomato and baby carrots on the side.

Snack: peanuts in the shell. This is a good snack because it takes a long time to eat.

Dinner: breaded and baked miso tofu, a healthy version of this recipe: http://www.theppk.com/recipes/dbrecipes/index.php?RecipeID=284 with mashed potatoes and turnips with a mushroom-chickpea gravy, spicy kale and beets, asparagus and a mini muffin of zucchini bread from How it all Vegan. For dessert I had some peanut butter chocolate tofu mousse sweetened with maple syrup.

Breakfast today: two mini zucchini muffins (they've good with very minimal sweetness, sweetened with splenda anyway) and this new brand of plain soy yogurt that is really really good! It's called Wild Wood and it is totally unsweetened, unlike other brands of plain soy yogurt. I had some wheat germ and cinnamon stewed rhubarb thrown in.

Lunch coming up: leftovers of tofu, kale and beets and mashed root veggies with some pb and choco mousse for dessert.

Snack: steamed asparagus. It's local! It'll make a good snack on my bus ride to Boston.

I'm debating getting something from a health food place near work to eat on the bus or just trying to stick it out until I get to Boston. If I get food for the bus, I'm much more likely to eat it before I'm really hungry for it, but if I try to hold out I'm much more likely to pig out once I get to Boston. I'm leaning towards buying food first, but not sure yet. I'll let the day unfold first.

Too many sweets

Nick said he noticed a change in the way my body looks and it made me feel really good for someone to recognize it. I remember when one girl at work lost ten pounds and everyone was complimenting her, but no one (at work or elsewhere) has noticed that I've been working hard at getting my body where I want it to be and making small successes. I feel silly because I don't need other people's validation, but it would be nice to at least have the results of my efforts be recognized.

I went spinning last night and today during lunch. The spin instructor today pointed out that people shouldn't be doing high intensity exercise all the time. Medium intensity exercise most of the time and high some of the time is key to changing your body and losing weight. The only problem with that is my medium intensity spinning class was so much more boring. We did the same cadence with the same heart rate the entire time. The music was boring too. I think I just need to be more active normally, with spontaneous exercise, to count as my not-high intensity exercise.

Food log:

Snack yesterday: I had one and a half of my choco chip cookies from VwaV (Vegan with a Vengeance). I meant to eat half at first, then I ate an entire one. Then I gave one to a co-worker who didn't like it (I think it was the molasses, she said it tasted salty), so I finished her's. I felt really guilty and bad about it. I didn't even have a good sabotaging thought to justify it to myself. I just wanted to eat it and I ate it. But I didn't even enjoy it that much since I knew I was doing something I didn't want to be doing. Spinning class and a good, healthy dinner made me feel better.

Dinner last night: a pretty good copy-cat of the "No Name" from Grasshopper vegan restaurant in the Boston area. Nick made it with Chinatown fake meat store chicken medallions and parsnips and broccoli in a tangy sauce made with tamarind and a bunch of other stuff. On the side there was a simple salad of cukes, toms and scallions with a bit of Bragg's. For dessert I had an ice cream sandwich and a mini carrot cupcake.

Breakfast: multi-grain bagel with Tofutti cream cheese mixed up at home with sundried toms, basil and garlic and a cup of tea.

Lunch: (look! no snack!) leftover samosas from last week (still good), steamed broccoli with rice vinegar and Bragg's and parsnip fries with Polish ketchup from my neighborhood. Parsnips are totally my new favorite veggie. They make great oven baked fries. For a dessert I had a mini carrot cupcake. When I say mini, I mean that one fits in my little Tupperware salad dressing container. They're perfect tiny desserts. I was still hungry after eating all that, probably from my pre-lunch spinning class, so I had my snack of blackberries as an additional dessert.

Snack coming up: half of an Odwalla superfood bar from last week.

Dinner coming up: plans still in the works. I promise pictures tonight!

In other exciting veggie news, a vegetarian diner is opening up a block and a half from my house!

One month vegan

So I've been totally vegan for one month as of this past Saturday. It hasn't been at all difficult for the majority of the time. And even when it is hard, I just say "oh well, I can't eat that stuff because I'm eating vegan." And it's usually stuff I'm glad I didn't eat anyway.

My daily planner has been stuck with my friend who is moving from Amherst this week and without it the BDS is hard to do right. My response cards and gym schedule and everything is in that. I'm thinking about just holding off on doing a half-assed job without my planner, so once I get it I can go over everything and really work hard at it. I just hope I have the time to pick it up from my friend this week so I don't put off focusing on it more any longer. Daily planners are essential to the BDS for sure.

I've been exercising as much as I want to and tell myself I'm going to. It's great.

Weekend food highlights:

Saturday dinner: one month veganniversary! A veganized version of those KFC bowls: http://www.kfc.com/menu/bowls_potato.asp Mine was with mashed root veggies (potatoes, turnips and parsnips), spinach, corn, chickpea gravy, Light Life chick'n strips breaded with whole wheat flour and panko bread crumbs, topped with Follow Your Heart cheddar style cheese.
An inside shot:


Sunday dinner: a mediocre attempt at baked corn dogs. This is a work in progress that will be revisited. Then along with that was green beans and mushrooms with chickpea gravy, sweet potato and parsnip baked fries with a creamy tomato-y dipping sauce, and roasted brussel sprouts.
Sunday dessert: homemade cinnamon maple pecan ice cream sandwiches! I finally put the ice cream sandwich maker my mom got me last year to use with the help of Nick's new ice cream maker. The sandwich part is made of a blondie from Vegan with a Vengeance.
To bring to work: really delicious chocolate chip cookies from Vegan with a Vengeance. Things like this make it harder to get fired! I had one last night and it was delicious. The secret ingredient is a tablespoon of molasses, shhhh.

Breakfast today: marinated and sauteed tempeh with avo, jalapenos, cukes, toms and red onion on a sprouted grain tortilla and cherries on the side.

Snack coming up: tamari almonds, mmmmm.

Lunch coming up: a mush of mashed root veggies, corn and spinach with chickpea gravy, leftover brussel sprouts and sweet potato fries, and Light Life strips with buffalo sauce.

Snack after that: strawberry jalapeno corn muffins I made this weekend and did not photograph. But I really should have. They are both pretty and delicious. The jalapeno is not very spicy (it probably could have used even more) and the flavor goes really well with the strawberries. This will definitely become a regular muffin.

Afternoon slow down

T was planning on going spinning, but the combination of mildly sore hamstrings and back and a general laziness are really wearing on my motivation. I want to go, but I got a feeling it's not going to happen. The only problem is that with the bad weather this weekend I don't know how much other exercise I will get since my weekend physical activity is generally based on the ability to go outside. How bad will I feel if I don't do it? Maybe a night off is okay? I've done vigorous exercise the last three days and if it weren't for this weather I know I would do something active over the weekend to make up for a night off. Ugh. Friday motivation is hard.

Doing good! Good food!

I've been exercising a lot and it's making me feel really good. Right now I'm a bit sore from an intense cardio kickboxing class yesterday, but a good feeling sore. I think I will do spinning tonight to loosen up (I read in the Times exercising when sore is generally okay as long as you aren't actually hurt). Then I'll take it easy this weekend with the usual walking around on errands, maybe a few easy bike rides, and cleaning. I've been sleeping really well because of all the exercise. I've actually not been able to get to bed before 11 all this week, and I usually get up around 6, but I've been sleeping so heavily that I feel generally okay the next day. I hope I can keep this up every week because I feel good about it and I feel accomplished when I exercise as much as I want to and plan to.

I weighed myself yesterday and my weight is still going down. It's hard to tell how much I'm actually losing because sometimes I weight myself with a friend at work in clothes but no shoes and sometimes I weigh myself at the gym in a towel but a belly full of water from exercising. No matter what my weight actually is, I'm slimming down in a healthy way and it's good.

Food log:

Dinner Wednesday: (pictured below) tempeh marinated in Stubbs bbq sauce and grilled on the cast iron grill pan, roasted corn with chipotle sour cream/mayo sauce and vegan parm, green beans (too oily, oh well), and really delicious homemade low-fat dairy-free mac and cheese from a recipe online but I forget from where...

Dessert Wednesday: (pictured below) ice cream cone shaped cookies with tops iced with pink confectioner's sugar icing or chocolate. I had just one with chocolate, very yummy.

Breakfast yesterday: scone with Smart Balance Light, apple, vanilla soy protein shake with rice milk.

Snack yesterday: tamari roasted almonds, my new favorite thing.

Lunch yesterday: (pictured below) too oily green beans (look at that sheen!), roasted corn mixed up with some chipotle sour cream/mayo sauce and mac and cheese. Well balanced and good, but low on the protein.

Dinner yesterday: (pictured below) at first I was really unmotivated about dinner, then I got overly motivated. Clockwise from the top: roasted corn with chipotle sauce and fake parm; mushrooms marinated in red wine vinegar and a bit of Braggs with cilantro and red onions; tomatoes and cukes with a bit of sea salt; refried beans and guac with homemade baked corn chips; taco with refried beans, Light Life steak strips, salsa verde, jalapeños and nutritional yeast on a sprouted grain tortilla sauteed up in a non-stick with a bit of cooking spray.

Breakfast today: sauteed Gimme Lean sausage with onions, sundried tomatoes and beet greens, blackberries and earl grey tea with rice milk and splenda. I usually have my tea with nothing in it and this was a nice change.

Lunch: (pictured below) marinated mushrooms, cucumbers and tomato salad; too oily green beans (trying to get rid of them), baked breaded tofu with corn meal, whole wheat flour, kelp granules and various spices cut in cute diamonds with a avocado mayo minced cornichon dipping sauce.

Snack: (pictured above), tamari almonds and raisins and an Odwalla superfood bar. I decided not to bring the apple.

I need a soy free dinner. So much soy today! Maybe I'll think of something good to do with the rest of those refried beans I opened yesterday. I love refried beans but they aren't very good alone.

People at work have been noticing that I eat more healthfully than most other people here and a few even compliment me on it!

The food porn begins...

banana split cupcakes with peanut butter buttercream frosting

tostada with refried beans, green chiles, jalapeños,
soy cheese, salsa, lettuce, avocado and soy sour cream

homemade veggie burger with sauteed greens
and baked sweet potato fries and homemade ketchup

spinachy samosas with apple raisin chutney and hot sauces

Homemade samosas and chutney! Photos soon.

Hopefully by tonight I will be able to upload photos onto my computer and into this blog. Then I'll do one big post of all the delicious foods I took pictures of over the past few weeks. After that I'll try to throw a few food pictures in my posts- this may be a little off-timed since I blog at work and photo at home, but I can work it out as long as no one minds the lag time.

No major BDS news. I'm still trying to find the time to write out my response times. I need to admit that I need to make the time, not just find it. Last night I got out at 6:30, had spinning class from 7:00-7:45, then did strength training and stretching from about 7:45-8:30, home at 9, showered, did some work for my grown up guidance counselor for a while, ate dinner, went to bed. Not a lot of time in there, but I could have figured something out if I tried harder. Maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow, but I promise myself over the next few days.

Food log:

Yesterday snack: beet and salad greens salad was pretty good. I love raw beets. And it kept me sustained throughout spinning class.

Dinner: Nick made homemade baked samosas (half reg flour, half wh0le wheat pastry flour) and homemade onion chutney. Both were soooo good. It was also a really nice change from my usual style of cooking. For dessert we had homemade lemon cinnamon scones with a little simple glaze and with some Earth Balance spread. Also really good.

Breakfast: sauteed tofu with breakfast scrambler seasoning, asparagus and sundried tomato and a scone with Earth Balance.

Snack: raisins.

Upcoming lunch: samosas with chutney.

Upcoming snack: more beety salad.

Planned dinner: I'm marinating tempeh in Stubb's BBQ sauce that I plan to grill up on my grill pan. For sides I want to make some healthy-ish vegan mac and cheese with broccoli or green beans or something green thrown in and grilled corn with chipotle sour cream sauce. I'm not sure what an appropriate dessert would be with that, maybe some grilled fruit.

I was in Amherst last weekend, where I went to college, and it was a challenge. The combination of traveling and being in a place easy to fall into old habits made it hard to be healthy. There were no vegan slip ups, but I did eat more potato chips and dip than I'd like to admit. I need to admit it though, that's the point of a food blog. I ate Cape Cod salt and vinegar potato chips dipped in... fake spreadable HYDROGENATED margarine. So unhealthy in so so so many ways. The taste of really fake butter reminds me of the "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" at my best friend's house growing up and while I recognize it as gross, it is also somewhat nostalgic for me and irresistible to me. I also had a bit too much white french baguette with baba ghanoush and tomatoes and artichoke hearts for breakfast one day- reasonable but not as healthy as I'd eat at home. I made vegan tiramisu cupcakes and only ate one, which is pretty good of me. For eating out while away, I had half of a cheeseless veggie panini and some salad one night and vegan tofu florentine of multigrain bread with homefries for brunch one morning. Better than I used to be, but not as good as I'd like to be. Maybe once I'm at my ideal weight I can eat this sort of stuff occasionally or while traveling, but as long as I'm still trying to slim down I gotta stick to healthier fare. So last night was a clean slate, back at home, back on track. My biggest focus is going to be to stick to the things I was good at initially but have since let slip, like eating standing up and unplanned snacking.

Food log:

Dinner last night: 1/3 of a small pizza from a pizza shop nearby with tomato sauce, sliced tomatoes, pineapple, vegan cheddar and buffalo sauce and three little garlic knots on the side as a treat from the pizza man for not having any hot peppers for my pizza. For dessert I had three squares (3/16) of a dark chocolate with marzipan Ritter Sport bar.

Breakfast: Gimme Lean sausage formed into a patty with spinach, sundried toms and crushed red peppers sauteed up on one slice of multigrain bread with fresh spinach, red onion and fat free vegan herbed mayonnaise. I also had half a pear and a cookie, one of the choco peanut butter oatmeal ones from last week. Cookie was bad of me, but you win some and you lose some.

Lunch: leftover slice of pizza from last night.

Upcoming snack: mixed greens and beet tops salad with raw beets, red onion and sunflower seeds with a simple dressing of Braggs and red wine vinegar.

Dinner: thus far undecided. I got free spinach at the farmer's market from my farm share farm that starts in June that I want to use up. Hopefully something good will come of it.

I need to focus on more fruits and veggies, at least one serving at breakfast and two at both lunch and dinner, and more protein since I'm going to start up with some strength training tonight. Already some days I'm good about this and some days I'm not, but I need to make sure I'm good most days. I feel much better when I am.

I'm officially back on the BDS wagon. I've been doing my daily readings and even stopping throughout the day to remind myself of what that day is about. I've been good about reading my advantages response card. I have yet to make other response cards, but I have serious intentions to do so. I'm exercising more, but not as much as I want to.

I was going to go to the gym during lunch today but I went to a spin class on Monday then a Wholefoods trip on Tuesday, work ends early today for an office morale boosting karaoke party, and I took tomorrow off. So I decided I just didn't have time to do it and be the type of worker my office expects me to be. I did a spin class last night and pilates this morning so it's not the end of the world. I just hope I'm not justifying not going with any self-fooling thoughts. My roommate is big into taking it slow when getting back into exercise so you don't hurt yourself or stress out your body. I personally don't think this is all that necessary, but it probably also is an okay thing to do. I have big plans to work out outdoors tomorrow during my day off. I want to start jogging once a week so I will be able to work out outside if I even can't get to the gym or just want to be outside.

Food log:

Dinner yesterday: refried bean enchiladas (two were on my plate but I only ate one!), a small salad of black beans, corns, peppers and avocados and another little salad of lettuce mix and salsa and Kate's soy sour cream sauce. For dessert I had the most delicious mini hand pie, about the size of a big-ish ravioli made with whole wheat crust and filled with chocolate, pears and almonds. This dinner really hit the spot.

Breakfast: homemade seitan pepperoni and chicken ham sandwich on multigrain with mustard, fat free vegan mayo, pickles and lettuce mix. Maybe a weird breakfast, but good.

Snack: small salad of lettuce, a bit of avocado, red peppers, onions, black beans, corn and salsa.

Lunch coming up: leftover enchilada with a side of steamed asparagus and Kate's soy sour cream sauce for dipping, then one mini hand pie for dessert.

Dinner: I'm going out to that work karaoke thing. I know dinner snacks are provided there, but a) they probably aren't vegan and b) I shouldn't/don't want to eat it anyway. So I brought a peanut butter, banana, apricot preserves and agave nectar sandwich on multigrain. I think this will hold me over.

Midday update

I brought the cookies I made to work in order to pawn them off on other people. I told myself I could have only one. I ate half after my lunch and wrapped the other half in my napkin. The other half is still in the napkin, waiting to be eaten after my salad at 5. Not only have I not eaten my entire one cookie yet, but I even have the entire container of cookies for co-workers on my desk and I haven't thought about opening it to have one for myself. I'm really proud.

Also, I've lost roughly five pounds since becoming vegan. I estimate my pre-vegan weight around 117, I was 115 about two weeks ago when I weighed myself, and I was 112 today. Good progress.

I was a pretty healthy eater all weekend until Sunday night when the madness of the Brooklyn kickball league got to me and I gorged on cookies. I was very disappointed in myself, but got back on the wagon Monday morning. I'm finding more and more that I really enjoy eating healthy food and it is becoming what I crave. For example, I can't even imagine wanting some toasted white bread when I know I could have some delicious fresh multi-grain toast at home. But I still have problems with overeating, especially when it comes to snacky foods. My cookies were peanutbutter oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. It was vegan and even made with whole wheat flour, but it was still fatty and sugary and I ate more than I needed. Similar experience last night. I made baked corn chips from corn tortillas and had some leftover refried beans, homemade salsa and tofu sour cream sauce, so I ended up snacking on those mindlessly. While I was doing it I already felt guilty about it. I think the weekend cookies just weakened my theoretical eating resistance muscle and built up my theoretical giving-in muscle. I also haven't been blogging as much as I wish I would. But actually saying these things out here, putting my realizations abut my eating habits in writing, helps a lot. I need to stick with it and I will. I know I'll be proud of myself if I do and in the end I will feel it's worth it.

My biggest goal for today is to write out the response cards I've been putting off. I can probably even do this during little breaks at work. I've been better about reading my advantages response card regularly and I'm remembering it really does help. More cards, more help, I figure.

I'm trying to incorporate more cardio and more pilates. So far so good, but not at the level I want to be. As long as I can increase and improve every week until I'm where I want to be, I will be happy with that. I just need to make sure I don't slack and disappoint myself.

I also don't want to go over everything I've eaten since I last posted. So instead I will start posting food logs daily to avoid this. It doesn't take that long and I'm always glad I did.

Food log:

Dinner yesterday: toasted corn tortilla topped with refried beans, green chiles, jalapenos, melted vegan monterey jack, salsa, lettuce, red onions, Kate's special soy sour cream sauce and 1/4 avocado. This dinner was delicious. I made some chocolate peanutbutter oatmeal cookies and ate too many of them, but not too too many, only two when I should have had one. At least I didn't have ten. I snacked on too many corn chips I made, but they were as healthy as corn chip snacking can get.

Breakfast: tofu scramble with veggie chicken ham (weird Asian vegetarian store product) and red and green peppers with a side of toasted fresh multigrain bread and tea.

Lunch: whole wheat gnocchi with tomatoes, corn, black beans, salsa verde and pepper. Weird but surprisingly okay tasting (I had the first half of this concoction yesterday). On the side baked lightly breaded okra with a fat-free vegan tartar sauce.

Snack: salad of boston lettuce, raddichio, corn, apples, red onion and toasted walnuts and sunflower seeds. I couldn't find a single-serving dressing tupperware container so I just decided to eat it without dressing and I'm totally okay with that.

Bad blogger, bad BDSer

I've been surprisingly busy at work and therefore much worse at blogging. I can never get myself to blog at home. The BDS is going along fine but I am having a hard time devoting as much time to it as I'd like. I have been reading my advantages response card a lot less, but I did read it this morning before breakfast like I planned to. This weekend I plan on reading over everything I went through over the past week to make sure I really got it down.

Food log:

Tuesday night: navy bean and veggie soup and a salad with lettuce, raw beets, beet greens, red onions, tomatoes, cucumbers and walnuts with a little balsamic vinaigrette and Braggs on top.

Wednesday morning: one little blueberry corn muffin and an orange.

Wednesday lunch: same thing as dinner the night before.

Wednesday snack: a small vegan raspberry blondie square.

Wednesday dinner: I pigged out on a megasoy burrito from Burritoville. It was fairly healthy with red beans and brown rice and tempeh, but I ate way too much of it. Then I had a full calorie soda! They were out of diet and I should have just had water. I'm disappointed in myself.

Wednesday later: I went out for drinks with a friend for her birthday and restrained myself to only whiskey and diet coke. That was good of me.

Thursday breakfast: mango smoothie with a shot of wheatgrass.

Thursday lunch: nothing! My attempt at a fasting day.

Thursday snack: I caved around 3:30. My breakfast was very low calorie (like 220 calories) and all fruit so not very long-term filling food. I was tired from being out late the night before and miserable. I had some spicy pita chips and a banana, about 300 calories or so total. Totally okay given it was a cave from fasting.

Thursday dinner: so good. Half a veggie burger on half a sprouted grain english muffin with ketchup, avocado, sauteed mushrooms, jalapeños and napa cabbage; four soy nuggets tossed in buffalo sauce and dipped in soy sour cream mixed with fresh cracked pepper and racaito; steamed collards, beets and red onions with toasted walnuts. For dessert I had a cookie that Nick made and I elaborate on below. It was a really good, albeit indentity-confused, dinner.

Today breakfast: multi-grain bagel with veggie tofu spread and sun dried tomatoes.

Lunch: lunch out on the company dime. I was good. I had one piece of bread with olive oil and a salad with baby lettuces, cherry tomatoes, pears, asparagus and corn with too much lemon vinaigrette. The dressing was good, it was just too oily and too much. I need to remember to always order dressing on the side.

Snack: carob carrot oatmeal cookies made sweetened with splenda and maple syrup and made with whole flour. As probably as healthy as a cookie can get, but very good.

Dinner: I'm planning on making this http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/2007/05/eggplant-pancakes-florentine.html

BDS day 11 and 13 cont'd, feeling sick.

Not surprisingly, when I rush through days I feel like I don't absorb them as well. So I decided to continue to focus on yesterday's tasks today.

I'm trying to note how I feel before, during and 20 minutes after snacks. Bringing my lunch makes it easier since I only have a limited amount of food I can eat, but I will try to remember to work on this when eating at home or eating out. I think keeping a log of this for dinner over the next few days could be useful, rather than just focusing on it today when I don't have much of a choice for how much I eat until dinner at home. I also need to do this on weekends since those are the times it is less easy to distract myself when hungry and eating becomes more of a social activity.

I'm need to make up a little index card tonight to specifically address cravings since I know I am so bad with cravings. I meant to do it last night, but I was feeling sick and braindead.

I got myself a daily planner to make sure I do all the things I'm supposed to and say I'm going to do. Now I'm working on actually opening it and checking it a few times a day.

I've been feeling sick and it makes me worried about my diet. I'm eating really healthy, but I think maybe the shock because of the change has got my body off kilter. In the interest of getting over it, I haven't exercised in a few days. I'm really bummed about that. I want to be better now.

Food log:

Dinner last night: homemade veggie burger on sprouted english muffin with ketchup, avocado, soy cheese, jalapenos, red onion and mixed greens. Very satisfying.

Dessert: 1/4 of a Ritter dark chocolate with marzipan bar. It's vegan! And has very normal ingredients, like chocolate liquer and cocoa butter, nothing weird like corn syrup and hydrogenated oils or milkfat.

Breakfast: tempeh sandwich with the usual veggie fixin's plus some good ketchup.

Lunch: whole wheat rotini with broccoli and fresh tomatoes with a sauce made of lima bean-roasted garlic-basil puree mixed with a bit of soymilk. Good, but not great.

Snack: crunchy all natural peanut butter and half a banana on a sprouted grain tortilla.

Planned dinner: navy bean and faux "chicken ham" soup, hopefully with some appropriate veggies thrown in.

I really wish I could calorie count for a day but I feel like it would be too complicated to do with all homemade and somewhat weird foods. It would at least take more effort that I think it's worth, but it'd be interesting.