Homemade samosas and chutney! Photos soon.

Hopefully by tonight I will be able to upload photos onto my computer and into this blog. Then I'll do one big post of all the delicious foods I took pictures of over the past few weeks. After that I'll try to throw a few food pictures in my posts- this may be a little off-timed since I blog at work and photo at home, but I can work it out as long as no one minds the lag time.

No major BDS news. I'm still trying to find the time to write out my response times. I need to admit that I need to make the time, not just find it. Last night I got out at 6:30, had spinning class from 7:00-7:45, then did strength training and stretching from about 7:45-8:30, home at 9, showered, did some work for my grown up guidance counselor for a while, ate dinner, went to bed. Not a lot of time in there, but I could have figured something out if I tried harder. Maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow, but I promise myself over the next few days.

Food log:

Yesterday snack: beet and salad greens salad was pretty good. I love raw beets. And it kept me sustained throughout spinning class.

Dinner: Nick made homemade baked samosas (half reg flour, half wh0le wheat pastry flour) and homemade onion chutney. Both were soooo good. It was also a really nice change from my usual style of cooking. For dessert we had homemade lemon cinnamon scones with a little simple glaze and with some Earth Balance spread. Also really good.

Breakfast: sauteed tofu with breakfast scrambler seasoning, asparagus and sundried tomato and a scone with Earth Balance.

Snack: raisins.

Upcoming lunch: samosas with chutney.

Upcoming snack: more beety salad.

Planned dinner: I'm marinating tempeh in Stubb's BBQ sauce that I plan to grill up on my grill pan. For sides I want to make some healthy-ish vegan mac and cheese with broccoli or green beans or something green thrown in and grilled corn with chipotle sour cream sauce. I'm not sure what an appropriate dessert would be with that, maybe some grilled fruit.

I was in Amherst last weekend, where I went to college, and it was a challenge. The combination of traveling and being in a place easy to fall into old habits made it hard to be healthy. There were no vegan slip ups, but I did eat more potato chips and dip than I'd like to admit. I need to admit it though, that's the point of a food blog. I ate Cape Cod salt and vinegar potato chips dipped in... fake spreadable HYDROGENATED margarine. So unhealthy in so so so many ways. The taste of really fake butter reminds me of the "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" at my best friend's house growing up and while I recognize it as gross, it is also somewhat nostalgic for me and irresistible to me. I also had a bit too much white french baguette with baba ghanoush and tomatoes and artichoke hearts for breakfast one day- reasonable but not as healthy as I'd eat at home. I made vegan tiramisu cupcakes and only ate one, which is pretty good of me. For eating out while away, I had half of a cheeseless veggie panini and some salad one night and vegan tofu florentine of multigrain bread with homefries for brunch one morning. Better than I used to be, but not as good as I'd like to be. Maybe once I'm at my ideal weight I can eat this sort of stuff occasionally or while traveling, but as long as I'm still trying to slim down I gotta stick to healthier fare. So last night was a clean slate, back at home, back on track. My biggest focus is going to be to stick to the things I was good at initially but have since let slip, like eating standing up and unplanned snacking.

Food log:

Dinner last night: 1/3 of a small pizza from a pizza shop nearby with tomato sauce, sliced tomatoes, pineapple, vegan cheddar and buffalo sauce and three little garlic knots on the side as a treat from the pizza man for not having any hot peppers for my pizza. For dessert I had three squares (3/16) of a dark chocolate with marzipan Ritter Sport bar.

Breakfast: Gimme Lean sausage formed into a patty with spinach, sundried toms and crushed red peppers sauteed up on one slice of multigrain bread with fresh spinach, red onion and fat free vegan herbed mayonnaise. I also had half a pear and a cookie, one of the choco peanut butter oatmeal ones from last week. Cookie was bad of me, but you win some and you lose some.

Lunch: leftover slice of pizza from last night.

Upcoming snack: mixed greens and beet tops salad with raw beets, red onion and sunflower seeds with a simple dressing of Braggs and red wine vinegar.

Dinner: thus far undecided. I got free spinach at the farmer's market from my farm share farm that starts in June that I want to use up. Hopefully something good will come of it.

I need to focus on more fruits and veggies, at least one serving at breakfast and two at both lunch and dinner, and more protein since I'm going to start up with some strength training tonight. Already some days I'm good about this and some days I'm not, but I need to make sure I'm good most days. I feel much better when I am.

I'm officially back on the BDS wagon. I've been doing my daily readings and even stopping throughout the day to remind myself of what that day is about. I've been good about reading my advantages response card. I have yet to make other response cards, but I have serious intentions to do so. I'm exercising more, but not as much as I want to.

I was going to go to the gym during lunch today but I went to a spin class on Monday then a Wholefoods trip on Tuesday, work ends early today for an office morale boosting karaoke party, and I took tomorrow off. So I decided I just didn't have time to do it and be the type of worker my office expects me to be. I did a spin class last night and pilates this morning so it's not the end of the world. I just hope I'm not justifying not going with any self-fooling thoughts. My roommate is big into taking it slow when getting back into exercise so you don't hurt yourself or stress out your body. I personally don't think this is all that necessary, but it probably also is an okay thing to do. I have big plans to work out outdoors tomorrow during my day off. I want to start jogging once a week so I will be able to work out outside if I even can't get to the gym or just want to be outside.

Food log:

Dinner yesterday: refried bean enchiladas (two were on my plate but I only ate one!), a small salad of black beans, corns, peppers and avocados and another little salad of lettuce mix and salsa and Kate's soy sour cream sauce. For dessert I had the most delicious mini hand pie, about the size of a big-ish ravioli made with whole wheat crust and filled with chocolate, pears and almonds. This dinner really hit the spot.

Breakfast: homemade seitan pepperoni and chicken ham sandwich on multigrain with mustard, fat free vegan mayo, pickles and lettuce mix. Maybe a weird breakfast, but good.

Snack: small salad of lettuce, a bit of avocado, red peppers, onions, black beans, corn and salsa.

Lunch coming up: leftover enchilada with a side of steamed asparagus and Kate's soy sour cream sauce for dipping, then one mini hand pie for dessert.

Dinner: I'm going out to that work karaoke thing. I know dinner snacks are provided there, but a) they probably aren't vegan and b) I shouldn't/don't want to eat it anyway. So I brought a peanut butter, banana, apricot preserves and agave nectar sandwich on multigrain. I think this will hold me over.

Midday update

I brought the cookies I made to work in order to pawn them off on other people. I told myself I could have only one. I ate half after my lunch and wrapped the other half in my napkin. The other half is still in the napkin, waiting to be eaten after my salad at 5. Not only have I not eaten my entire one cookie yet, but I even have the entire container of cookies for co-workers on my desk and I haven't thought about opening it to have one for myself. I'm really proud.

Also, I've lost roughly five pounds since becoming vegan. I estimate my pre-vegan weight around 117, I was 115 about two weeks ago when I weighed myself, and I was 112 today. Good progress.

I was a pretty healthy eater all weekend until Sunday night when the madness of the Brooklyn kickball league got to me and I gorged on cookies. I was very disappointed in myself, but got back on the wagon Monday morning. I'm finding more and more that I really enjoy eating healthy food and it is becoming what I crave. For example, I can't even imagine wanting some toasted white bread when I know I could have some delicious fresh multi-grain toast at home. But I still have problems with overeating, especially when it comes to snacky foods. My cookies were peanutbutter oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. It was vegan and even made with whole wheat flour, but it was still fatty and sugary and I ate more than I needed. Similar experience last night. I made baked corn chips from corn tortillas and had some leftover refried beans, homemade salsa and tofu sour cream sauce, so I ended up snacking on those mindlessly. While I was doing it I already felt guilty about it. I think the weekend cookies just weakened my theoretical eating resistance muscle and built up my theoretical giving-in muscle. I also haven't been blogging as much as I wish I would. But actually saying these things out here, putting my realizations abut my eating habits in writing, helps a lot. I need to stick with it and I will. I know I'll be proud of myself if I do and in the end I will feel it's worth it.

My biggest goal for today is to write out the response cards I've been putting off. I can probably even do this during little breaks at work. I've been better about reading my advantages response card regularly and I'm remembering it really does help. More cards, more help, I figure.

I'm trying to incorporate more cardio and more pilates. So far so good, but not at the level I want to be. As long as I can increase and improve every week until I'm where I want to be, I will be happy with that. I just need to make sure I don't slack and disappoint myself.

I also don't want to go over everything I've eaten since I last posted. So instead I will start posting food logs daily to avoid this. It doesn't take that long and I'm always glad I did.

Food log:

Dinner yesterday: toasted corn tortilla topped with refried beans, green chiles, jalapenos, melted vegan monterey jack, salsa, lettuce, red onions, Kate's special soy sour cream sauce and 1/4 avocado. This dinner was delicious. I made some chocolate peanutbutter oatmeal cookies and ate too many of them, but not too too many, only two when I should have had one. At least I didn't have ten. I snacked on too many corn chips I made, but they were as healthy as corn chip snacking can get.

Breakfast: tofu scramble with veggie chicken ham (weird Asian vegetarian store product) and red and green peppers with a side of toasted fresh multigrain bread and tea.

Lunch: whole wheat gnocchi with tomatoes, corn, black beans, salsa verde and pepper. Weird but surprisingly okay tasting (I had the first half of this concoction yesterday). On the side baked lightly breaded okra with a fat-free vegan tartar sauce.

Snack: salad of boston lettuce, raddichio, corn, apples, red onion and toasted walnuts and sunflower seeds. I couldn't find a single-serving dressing tupperware container so I just decided to eat it without dressing and I'm totally okay with that.

Bad blogger, bad BDSer

I've been surprisingly busy at work and therefore much worse at blogging. I can never get myself to blog at home. The BDS is going along fine but I am having a hard time devoting as much time to it as I'd like. I have been reading my advantages response card a lot less, but I did read it this morning before breakfast like I planned to. This weekend I plan on reading over everything I went through over the past week to make sure I really got it down.

Food log:

Tuesday night: navy bean and veggie soup and a salad with lettuce, raw beets, beet greens, red onions, tomatoes, cucumbers and walnuts with a little balsamic vinaigrette and Braggs on top.

Wednesday morning: one little blueberry corn muffin and an orange.

Wednesday lunch: same thing as dinner the night before.

Wednesday snack: a small vegan raspberry blondie square.

Wednesday dinner: I pigged out on a megasoy burrito from Burritoville. It was fairly healthy with red beans and brown rice and tempeh, but I ate way too much of it. Then I had a full calorie soda! They were out of diet and I should have just had water. I'm disappointed in myself.

Wednesday later: I went out for drinks with a friend for her birthday and restrained myself to only whiskey and diet coke. That was good of me.

Thursday breakfast: mango smoothie with a shot of wheatgrass.

Thursday lunch: nothing! My attempt at a fasting day.

Thursday snack: I caved around 3:30. My breakfast was very low calorie (like 220 calories) and all fruit so not very long-term filling food. I was tired from being out late the night before and miserable. I had some spicy pita chips and a banana, about 300 calories or so total. Totally okay given it was a cave from fasting.

Thursday dinner: so good. Half a veggie burger on half a sprouted grain english muffin with ketchup, avocado, sauteed mushrooms, jalapeños and napa cabbage; four soy nuggets tossed in buffalo sauce and dipped in soy sour cream mixed with fresh cracked pepper and racaito; steamed collards, beets and red onions with toasted walnuts. For dessert I had a cookie that Nick made and I elaborate on below. It was a really good, albeit indentity-confused, dinner.

Today breakfast: multi-grain bagel with veggie tofu spread and sun dried tomatoes.

Lunch: lunch out on the company dime. I was good. I had one piece of bread with olive oil and a salad with baby lettuces, cherry tomatoes, pears, asparagus and corn with too much lemon vinaigrette. The dressing was good, it was just too oily and too much. I need to remember to always order dressing on the side.

Snack: carob carrot oatmeal cookies made sweetened with splenda and maple syrup and made with whole flour. As probably as healthy as a cookie can get, but very good.

Dinner: I'm planning on making this http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/2007/05/eggplant-pancakes-florentine.html

BDS day 11 and 13 cont'd, feeling sick.

Not surprisingly, when I rush through days I feel like I don't absorb them as well. So I decided to continue to focus on yesterday's tasks today.

I'm trying to note how I feel before, during and 20 minutes after snacks. Bringing my lunch makes it easier since I only have a limited amount of food I can eat, but I will try to remember to work on this when eating at home or eating out. I think keeping a log of this for dinner over the next few days could be useful, rather than just focusing on it today when I don't have much of a choice for how much I eat until dinner at home. I also need to do this on weekends since those are the times it is less easy to distract myself when hungry and eating becomes more of a social activity.

I'm need to make up a little index card tonight to specifically address cravings since I know I am so bad with cravings. I meant to do it last night, but I was feeling sick and braindead.

I got myself a daily planner to make sure I do all the things I'm supposed to and say I'm going to do. Now I'm working on actually opening it and checking it a few times a day.

I've been feeling sick and it makes me worried about my diet. I'm eating really healthy, but I think maybe the shock because of the change has got my body off kilter. In the interest of getting over it, I haven't exercised in a few days. I'm really bummed about that. I want to be better now.

Food log:

Dinner last night: homemade veggie burger on sprouted english muffin with ketchup, avocado, soy cheese, jalapenos, red onion and mixed greens. Very satisfying.

Dessert: 1/4 of a Ritter dark chocolate with marzipan bar. It's vegan! And has very normal ingredients, like chocolate liquer and cocoa butter, nothing weird like corn syrup and hydrogenated oils or milkfat.

Breakfast: tempeh sandwich with the usual veggie fixin's plus some good ketchup.

Lunch: whole wheat rotini with broccoli and fresh tomatoes with a sauce made of lima bean-roasted garlic-basil puree mixed with a bit of soymilk. Good, but not great.

Snack: crunchy all natural peanut butter and half a banana on a sprouted grain tortilla.

Planned dinner: navy bean and faux "chicken ham" soup, hopefully with some appropriate veggies thrown in.

I really wish I could calorie count for a day but I feel like it would be too complicated to do with all homemade and somewhat weird foods. It would at least take more effort that I think it's worth, but it'd be interesting.